You Aren’t Alone – Part II

Mariah Strongin, Greenwich, CT

I recently wrote a letter to someone and I wanted to share it with you. The more I realize that I’m not alone, the more I want you to know that you aren’t either. My hope for you after reading this is that either you or someone you know will feel less alone. Please feel free to share this note with friends, and if you feel like telling your story you may do so in the comment section below or email me at themariahmethod@gmail.com if you’d like more privacy.

Note: This letter has been edited to protect the identity of the recipient.

Dear Jane Doe,

I can quickly recall how isolated I used to feel when my whole focus was food, what I could and couldn’t eat, counting calories, thinking I ate enough, working out whenever possible (even in the shower), and how I really felt inside: destroyed.

I have struggled on and off with anorexia, orthorexia, and body dysmorphia since the 8th grade — most recently two years ago at age 26. I am a model, but that isn’t what caused it originally, it use to transform into a need for perfection, control, stability, and so many other things throughout the years. At some point, I was too skinny to model. That was a wow moment, but still I didn’t listen. I thought my agents, parents, and my boyfriend of five years (at the time), Jason, were wrong.

What changed my mind and perception was actually a trainer. I grew up playing sports, so trainers were always like family to me, they knew best. When the trainer said he wouldn’t train me because I was two weeks away from a hospital bed with a food tube in my nose, I cried, the reality was a lot, but it became real for me for the first time. I took him seriously and I ate whatever he said which, at that point, was something, anything, more than before. It was definitely baby steps and I still fell back into it when I traveled for work, but last year, I studied to get my nutrition certification and learning what my body needs to survive and how delicate it is, I knew I couldn’t mess with its balance anymore. Ever since, I have been good, felt good, my body and I listen to each other, my brain’s nonsense is clear, and I enjoy food.

Sorry, I know that is a lot to hear about someone you don’t know. Everyone has their own journey with this monster and a lot of people aren’t even aware of it. I look forward to hearing your story if you want to share it, and I look forward to keeping in touch. I am here for you as a nutrition resource, an ear, and a helping hand. Feel free to call or text me if you need anything at all.

With love,
Mariah